I'm forcing myself to start doing this again

So I started reading this book, on humanity...nono clever friends, it wasn't the Bible. Its called Disappointed with God by Philip Yancey. I doubt any of you have read it because you would have recommended it by now. The first seven chapters put words to my emotions, put a face to my heart. It was so refreshing just to know that I'm not the only one going through a tough October.

I've only gotten as far as chapter seven, but Yancey has yet to let me down. Even still, it seems like all day I had to really check myself and my motive behind everything I said and did. It was so hard not to be cynical or malicious towards people. I keep thinking, what if I just throw all this away. But I would have nothing to go back to. I don't want to be that same old self centered person I was 2 years ago, or even 1 year ago. But at the same time I just want to just re leave myself of these feelings. Everything is heavy, Everything is hard. I'm losing interest. I want to get out of this place.