New Philosophy

So...I'm going to attempt to put this down.
I should start by saying that most of the conclusions I'm coming to are not my own. I owe a solid 95% of this to Elyse.
Some things that I've noticed about myself:
I enjoy relationships with people on very short terms. After about six months I feel like I have exhausted all of my stories, wit, and charm. I start repeating old stories, I become predictable. I never really liked this quality but I didn't really know any other way to live. Since high school I have moved from social group to social group after about a years time. It started when we moved to Meriden, then there was the Empress. The social group at Empress morphed after I climbed the ranks, then I moved to Danbury, switched jobs to the Psych hospital, moved to Brewster, switched jobs to be a bouncer and go back to school, moved to Ohio for a summer, moved back to CT to work for the ambulance company, moved in with Jon as a PCA and go back to school, then moved here to Boston.

I started hitting the point were the need to find a new social group was growing around Christmas. That peaked a few weeks ago. I found that instead of having conversations with people, I would run through the conversation in my head several times and pick out the one most likely to happen. I stopped communicating with people and began judging them off of these conversations. That was a bad idea.

Part of this new philosophy is putting the past behind me and worrying about the future tomorrow. I know I've heard time and time again, but I just needed to live in the now. Turns out that's where happiness hides, happiness hides in the now.

This is just the tip of the ice burge, I'll elaborate more on wednesday.