ugh

It is so much easier to commit to doing something than it is to commit to not do something. There is satisfaction out of doing, it can be seen, it can be felt, it can be enjoyed by others. Not doing something is almost always internal. Not litting up the cigarette, not going for another drink, not going to that website...these things are so much more difficult. Especially when viewed by the rest of the world. Why abstain? Our abstinance is one of the things that sets us apart from the rest of the world. When I find someone who doesn't swear- at all -my first conclusion is: christain. So what does that mean when someone who abstains, splurges? It means we are all Human. Not to justify anyones actions, but we all make mistakes. As I type these words my heart is heavy. Out of everyone in the World and God himself in the Heavens, I point the finger at myself and condem myself the most.

Jesus forgive me. I am a sinner.